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  • Writer's pictureTodd Hoher

How to deal with big changes in your life

Updated: Jan 27, 2019

Change is constant. Whether it’s in the workplace or our relationships, nothing in life ever remains quite the same.

Regardless of the gravity of change, it can always be a little scary. So scary, in fact, that some people are downright crippled by the idea of it causing them to remain stagnant in anxiety.

Think about it for a second. Have you ever noticed how much of life’s transitional periods are ridden with anxious vibes? The Quarter Life Crisis, The Mid-Life Crisis, wet feet before getting married, freaking out when you retire, teenage angst, and going from relationship to relationship are just a few examples of transitional periods when people tend to panic.

We can’t control every aspect of our lives and we can’t stop change from happening. But how we respond to change will greatly affect our overall life


1. Don’t fight it

I once heard one of my predecessors say “Suffering is what occurs when we resist what is already happening.” The lesson has stuck with me ever since.

Life changes are usually out of our control. Rather than trying to manipulate the situation and wishing things were different, try flowing with it instead.

Of course, some initial resistance is natural if we’re going into survival mode. Just make sure you are conscious of when this resistance is no longer serving you.

2. Find healthy ways to deal with your feelings

Whenever we’re in transitional periods it can be easy to lose track of ourselves. Sometimes we feel like we’re being tossed about by life and like we’ve lost our footing, causing some very uncomfortable feelings to rise.

One way we can channel these feelings is by finding healthy ways to release them. For instance, whenever I find myself in a difficult transitional phase I end up in a prayer and meditation session.

3. Reframe your perspective

This is a very powerful tool used in life coaching. It helps clients take a situation they are struggling with, such as a major life change, and find some sort of empowerment in it.

Some examples of disempowered thinking during life changes include casting blame, focusing on negative details or victimizing. These perspectives can make awkward transitional phases much worse than they have to be.

Meanwhile if we come from a more positive perspective such as finding a lesson in the situation, realizing that there may be an opportunity for something or that everything passes we can come from a greater place of ease.

4. Find time for self-reflection

Having time to reflect is important at any stage in your life, but it’s especially important during transitional periods. It’s quite simple really, we need our time to step back and get centered when things get a little crazy.

As a result, big life changes are perfect for doing some self-reflection. They are opportunities to check in with ourselves and practice getting grounded for a few minutes.

Self-reflctive exercises include meditating, yoga or journaling – all of which require some quiet time to get yourself together.

Big life changes may rock us for a little while, but they don’t have to be as bad as we initially perceive them. If handled in a positive manner transitional periods can pave the way for some serious self-growth, reflection and awareness..

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